Bali- Conquering Fear

The beauty of Bali is known for its mystic effects on the human mind. Cataloging our experience, we would like to share the curious case of our dear Jagan, who was redeemed by Bali..

It seemed like yesterday that they had landed. Couple of days earlier, the gang had conquered Mt. Batu. They had seen the famed Tanah Lot, hit the hip party place at Kuta (where the ghost of Michael Jackson had possessed Kingshuk). Darn Vivek- the one responsible for conning him into nefarious potions, which meant that the lot missed the whale watching. Now, they were at the Uluwatu temple.

Uluwatu & the Ocean beyond

He viewed the ocean. Those conversations with self started in his head. Admittedly, this was nothing like he had ever seen before.  

Jagan's boisterous exterior: belying the turmoil within

He was glad to be here. Here in Indonesia, things were similar to the way it was in rest of Asia (his beloved India included). Failure was not tolerated socially. Precisely the reason why he hated some of the western civilization, where those nitwits glorified failure in the name of calling themselves 'resilient'. Although now, the failure to live upto his own expectations and timelines was turning out to be a constant haunt.

The beauty of Bali was on the verge of pulling him out of the overwhelming horror weighing his mind.

Mind you, he was no stranger to fear or pain.. Through the paths he had traversed in his life, he had witnessed a range of emotions-

• He had endeavored fear of failure, fear of losing everything, which had threatened to drown him. Yet he had fought and succeeded valiantly (until now)
• He had escaped from the jaws of death 5 times (which incidentally; was precisely the number of times he had driven pillion to Vivek on a motorcycle). With those gravity defying experiences, he was confident of hoodwinking death, should it loom again..
• Yesterday, he had been to the water temples, where Sayan had made him worship a snake.
• He had sampled the extremities of all human emotions - pain and losses on the love front [both on short term monthly Point in Time PIT love & long term Through the Cycle TTC love] 

But this particular venomous fear paled the above emotions and was eating him from inside since the past few months. Just reminiscing it made him shiver. He pulled back to focus on the surroundings.

He had to let Bali help him conquer the biggest challenge of his life.

There was this infinite  expanse of ocean in front of him. It was as if the waters were calling him.

Trying to free his mind; An instinct within beckoned him to jump off the cliff and start swimming. If he were to remember his geography lessons right, he could swim to the next land mass - Antarctica (or Australia perhaps, if he were to meander to the east ).  He was viewing the endless sea from an advantaged height; a look to the sides presented the spectacular cliffs  - their steepness and ferocious ruggedness was intimidating. Just as you got your focus back from the sea, you were greeted by the fauna sprawling across the cliff edges, a few inches from where he stood - followed by rich flowers and never seen before foliage of nature.

He shifted his vision to his immediate surroundings. He was at the ancient temples, dating back to the 11th century. It was impressive what mankind could do, battling the fury of nature, to have built the beacons of peace here.

If our ancestors could do so much with their will power, so could he.

Suddenly, his biggest fear did not seem that big after all. . Not anymore.. Escape was not his way, he took a deep breath. He was a spiritual engine, built for greater things - and he would not let this drudgery hold him in its shackles.

In the midst of these surroundings, he suddenly felt liberated of those three dreadful letters. He was willing to let go of this fear and decided to set to rest that modeling splinter in his mind, that was driving him mad.

He wanted to express it in finality and bury it. Now was the time..

As the current performers cleared the amphitheater stage, he purloined the mic and ran to the stage.

The Amphitheater - readying for Jagan (courtesy - Mazurkevich)

On the stage, he fed his voice into the mic, so that the civilization at Uluwatu could hear him.

I am a boy man who walks alone

And when I'm walking a dark road…

At night am strolling through Solitaire park...

When the methodology begins to change

I sometimes feel a little strange…

A little anxious when it changes again….

Fear of the Observed Default Rate (ODR), fear of the ODRrrr

I have a constant fear that the ODR's methodology is going to change…

Fear of the ODR, fear of the ODRrr

(He let the Rrr's drawl to emphasize his Punjabi-ness)

I have a phobia that my PD term structure is going to change

Aptivaa on Stage

He turned to look at Vivek and shifted his gaze to Sayan, Paras, Abishek, Yagnesh. Not a word was said; the connect was instantaneous amongst the fellow sufferers. The gang ran and picked the guitars, while Yagnesh made a dash for the drums.

Have you run your fingers down the keyboard

And have you felt your neck skin crawl

When you're analyzing your R code… (Kya?)

Sometimes when you're scared to take a look

At the core of your code

You've sensed that something's changing in the data frame...

At this moment, he looked at the crowd. Convinced that the pain in his eyes was conveyed indeed, he paused, and turned the mic to the crowd and shouted: "Your turn Bali…"

The crowd, which had forged a connect - encored..

Fear of the ODR, fear of the ODR..

I have a constant fear that ECL's gonna change

Fear of the ODR, fear of the ODR.

I have a phobia that ODR methodology's gonna change

A Yagnesh hammered the drums and the rest were at it with the strings, Jagan dispelled his final fears..

  

Have you ever been alone at night

Thought you heard chimes of mails coming in with all might

And turned around to find a new account in cross default…(Kya?)

And as you quicken up to prepare the data set

You suspect that dplyr() is playing tricks

Because you're sure that ODR has missed 12 month survival ..

Fear of the ODR, fear of the ODR

I have a constant fear that ODR methodology is going to change

Fear of the ODR, fear of the ODRrrr.

I have a phobia that the ODR is going to change

When I'm writing the dark code

I am a man who walks alone…

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