Wednesday, October 21, 2009

What not to do at Diwali..

However realistic and rational you may be, no matter how much one may laugh off the emotions during festivals; it is impossible to not fall prey to the festive spirit. I might be considered a toned down version of the 'humbug' muttering, Christmas hating Scrooge. As Diwali approached, I could not help feeling disgusted about the way people splurge money and the retailers create and capitilize the 'feel good' attitude to drive their sales figures. Moreover, mummy’s orders meant that I had to fly to my home at an inflated fare thanks to the festive season. Blasphemy!

Reaching home, life settled into the expected routine. Got very little time to talk to my parents initially thanks to the inflow of well wishers and my parents visiting friends and family as well. I grumbled when I was asked to accompany. But with time, I enjoyed this and was soon looking forward to more visits.

Friday night we had a cards game scheduled at our place. I was responsible for entertaining the younger generation. Since the brain I possess works in line of chaos, I purchased immense firepower for the evening.

The proceedings of the evening were spectacular and in a way many were inspired to continue the trend the next day. Our gang was there- Ayush, Ritesh, Rachita, Vaibhav bhaiya and me. @Akshat, Richa, Piyush- missed you guys terribly..

It's time to spread the word.. And the word is: CHAOS..

So here's on what NOT to do at Diwali:

1. Tying 2 hydro bombs (no not the fission one; the local ones with fashionable name) and placing them in a closed box:

The results we experienced were quite majestic. The box blew off and landed 10 seconds later. We repeated this until it finally flew into our neighbor's house. Fearing that this might have caused some damage to their vehicle, we never attempted to ring the bell to retrieve it.

We graduated to tying three of such bombs together. The scary part was when we heard two blasts and the search for the third began. Seconds later, it was found at the ramp where we were standing. The blast from the previous two must have thrown it here. Fortunately, we ran just before it exploded. Ayush didn't have to though, he's the guy who's already a kilometre away after lighting something.

2. Trying stuff with rockets:

The bunch of us consider lighting rockets a waste if they are aimed upwards. Credit goes to Richa for enlightening us some years back. Ritesh played the daredevil here along with Mukesh.


A hydro foil bomb was tied to the rocket. The Hunter (a doodley sparkler) was responsible for the ignition system.

It was exciting to see the rocket take off in one direction and turn thanks to the explosion.


Next we tied a ladi aka chatai- a mat made of small bombs tied together. This time, it was more treacherous.

The rocket took off and bent thanks to the weight. The ongoing blasts kept wavering the rocket until it decided to come down with the chatai still crackling to a bush. A small fire came into being in the dry bush but was doused immediately thanks to the bucket of water we had.


We tied two rockets together. Aligned them so that the two face different directions. Watched the rockets fight mid air- each one trying to tug the other in its direction.


Finally, we headed to the park with our left over rockets. Out here, we tested and understood all concepts of a missile system. Miraculously, one of these featured a homing device. It took a u-turn mid way to head towards Ritesh. Though Ritesh did take a minor hit, hats off to his courage. Nothing stopped him to let the chaos reign.

3. Lighting up chakkars on stretched arms with sparkler ends

There is a chance that you discover holes in your sleeves the next day.

4. Havan

This is our finale: where we burn the leftovers in the ‘havan’ fire. The fun part is when you go to drop a handful of crackers: you have to analyze and judge if any of the previous feed will burst as you approach.

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous Diwali!!


The author will not entertain any words of criticism from the environment friendlies as the author firmly believes his contributions to protect the climate and reduce his carbon footprint make up for a lot. The author saves fuel and energy whenever he can thanks to his miserly nature. He is also a firm believer of upholding Diwali tradition. Lights, crackers n joy included.


  1. awesome man, looks like you had a lot of fun! and YES to bursting crackers, it happens once in a year anyway. those worried about polluting should give up vehicles! they pollute all year round! :P

  2. Brilliant piece of writing this. This can very aptly be titled, "My experiments with Crackers.." ala Gandhi.. No matter what, crackers it has been and crackers it shall be for Diwali.. The carbon footprint reduction can go kiss its royal ass... :D

  3. Thank you my dear friends: for supporting the fun and bc..

  4. Dude!! Amazing!! I still can't believe you did all those antics with the rockets!! Must have been Superfun!!

  5. Bro!! I enjoyed every bit of it !!Our Graduation wid crackers as well as reading d blog.. Had an awesome tym dat day... n ya missed akshat ,pyush n richa di..

    I hope we continue d tradition..